Appetite

I

am looking at-
Exploding the proposition of why we sit in the theater.
What is our agreement with the audience?
What are we all doing here?
Is it theatre?
Why is it necessary?
Why should we look at it?
What will it cost us beyond the spectacle of it all?
What do I risk?
What is at risk?
Will is steal my soul?
I am looking at past work and contemplating its necessity.

Depth.
Exposing pretension, full of one's selfness, adulation, smugness, and distance.

Give me an experiment gone awry.

Give me an experiment that reveals heart and soul.

Give me an ambitious failure.

Give me an experience that defies definition, theory, everything I think I know about life, about art.

Give me pause.

Give me a theatre that speaks life-
Give me acts of agression, control, confession, desperation, displacment, mendacity, transgression, violence, shock of the routine, unspeakable kindnesses, grace beyond measure.

Speak bitterness. Possibility. Hope. Hunger.

Pull a Kurtz.
Make a leap.
Make. Make. Make.
Don't ask for permission.
Embrace terror, pain, joy.
Don't traffic in commerce.
I want no more disposable experiences.

I want something that endures.

How does it all transpire?

How do you plan to move it forward?

Start with the basics.
Bodies in space - actor, audience.
Necessity in every breath and gesture.

Break through limitation - emotional, spiritual, physical.

Do the work and get on with it.

Be grateful.
What is your obstacle?
You are.
When you ask to be challenged you don't get to negotiate the terms.

Say yes.
Be brutal.
Fight for yourself.
Insist.
Let go of approval, the attaboys.
Validation. Recognition. Belonging.
Official acceptance = Death.

The past has nothing to give you but -

inspiration-

momentum-
- and ?'s.
The past makes and unmakes you-

Can't change it.

Can't undo it.

Don't repeat.
Survival is a projection into the future.

Feed yourself.
Say yes.