The SOTP

There have been a couple of posts by other bloggers in the past month that have struck a chord with me. First, there's Laura Axelrod's Talking To Myself series where she dissects her decision to cut her ties to theater. Next, there's Scott Walters' response to Discussion of Apathy. This post resonates with my present experience of trying break away from what I'll call Standard Operating Theater Procedure. SOTP is a replication of the regional theater model of selecting a season, finding directors, press releases, photo shoots, rehearsing for six weeks, etc. That way of doing things works for some, but not for me. I'm not trying to say, "I'm an artist, I'm above such things." No, I'm not above getting paid for my work. If a company wants to hire me in to direct a show, I'm okay with that as long as I'm interested in the script.

The thing I've realized is that I don't care where I do that. It doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things if I do that in San Francisco, San Jose, or in the community theaters in the towns closer to home. If it's a script I love, it's all one to me. The advantage of working near where I live is that I don't have to take as much time away from my family - a big bonus. All the other headaches - er challenges - of working within that model are pretty much the same. Kind of tells you something, eh? Not that any process is perfect or without it's difficulties. But it also gets at what Scott is saying - people put up with these frustrations because what else is there? We want to work, be respected, fit in, get recognition, or whatever it is that drives us, and working within the SOTP is the monolith from which all those goodies flow.

It's never worked for me. And if I'm being honest I have to admit - I've never been one of those people who liked working for someone else, no matter what the job. I've had two jobs outside theater that I loved - working in a bookstore and working in a physical therapy clinic. I loved those jobs (even though working in at The Bookstore was a losing proposition) because of the people I worked for. I've been successful at jobs I've absolutely hated. I ran the payroll for one division of a rather large medical equipment corporation. I was very good at it. But I wasn't very fun to be around. When I stop and think about working at a job I hate whether it's in theater or outside it, it doesn't make the theater job I hate any better just because I happen to love theater.

So with that settled, it leaves open the thing I find myself wrestling with and butting up against constantly. Which is breaking with SOTP. As Scott says,

It is very, very hard to go outside the established way of doing things. It is scary, and often isolates you. It requires a level of confidence that far exceeds the norm. Hell, it's hard enough just living within the norm!

I'm living in that isolated place right now, have been for the past year. It was scary a few months back, but I worked through it. All it takes is talking to someone who buys into the SOTP and I'm reminded that, no that isn't where my passion lies and I'm only willing to put a certain, very limited amount of energy towards getting work in that area. Right now, I only have energy and time for doing the work I'm passionate about. Lucky me. I get to be alone (with my family) and create work that excites me.

Am I leaving something out? Oh, yeah,who's going to see this work? How am I going to get it in front of people? I'm working on that, researching companies and venues that support independent artists. They're out there. It's not like I'm reinventing the wheel here. When I think about the work that inspires me- it's all by companies working outside the SOTP. Sure, they have to deal with the system, but they've made a name for themselves by creating work they're passionate about. I hope for success, but if I fail at this thing, that's the way I want to fail.

Finally, Scott brings up this point-

I have spent a lot of energy trying to persuade people to change their values. Whether on my blog, or in my department, I have committed myself to trying to get people to change their attitudes, to share my values. And I have started to believe that this is a waste of time. That I should be focused on creating a model, putting my ideas into action, and then embrace anyone who finds themselves inspired by that model to join me.

Yeah. Goodbye to all that. Over the past four years, I've realized that I do that, even though I tell myself I don't. It's taken leaving it all and staying out of it to really drive that home (and having a couple of friends point it out helps too). It's just not worth the energy. I've wasted too much time crusading against the SOTP or trying to make converts. It left me angry and frustrated. Not worth it really because experience bears this out - you can't change people. So love them, let them go their way and wish the best for them. I'll take care of my neck of the woods. I've got a chainsaw and a kickass machete. As a surgeon once told me, "the chance to cut, is the chance to cure."