I want to talk a little about collaboration. When it works it's a beautiful thing, no? When it doesn't, it can be a soul-sucking nightmare or like beating yourself with a hammer. And that's on a good day.
I'm was in a beat yourself with a hammer bordering on soul-sucking situation a few months ago. How did I get there? Because I don't learn. I think that somewhere along the line the skies will part and the person who is being resistant to the process will suddenly see the light. I'm not talking about agreement here. I'm talking about accepting the central thesis of collaboration: that by working together you can create something larger than any one person. That you work for the group, not for yourself. That the creative environment is for the group, not necessarily for each individual. Can there be a place where an artist’s individual needs and abilities meet and find balance within the collaborative experience and if not balance, then at least an angle of repose? Granted, this position of repose might be one little corner of the sky where you don't feel at risk or it might be a a hand hold on the side of a mountain in the midst of chaos that for this moment in time, in spite of uncertainty, represents the best choice, the most reasonable solution.
Unless you don't buy into the whole idea to begin with. Which usually becomes evident. It's something that can be exposed in auditions and, if not then, or if you choose to ignore the signs and cast anyway, will soon become apparent in the rehearsal process. And then, sometimes - a person will flat out tell you that they'd rather not collaborate or maybe they don't realize where their push back is.
And, in the past, I've always held out hope for those people. I've always worked to find ways to engage with them where they are. And I guess I still will. But somehow I've got to learn to do it without taking it personally or making it personal. I don't have the energy for that anymore. I've also realized that maybe my trying to engage creates more resistance. Because I'm still working from the angle that my way is right, eh? If a person doesn't buy the idea of collaboration, not much point in trying to convince them or convincing yourself you're going to win them over somehow. What are the options? Accepting what they can do? Check. And...and...move on. Next.
When you meet resistance what do you do? How do you handle it?
4 comments:
Usually I'll look to see if the resistance is coming from my expectations or if it's really coming from the other person.
Then I also try to see if this is a sign of something that's been sticky for a long time for me and that I must break through or if the lesson learned in breaking through will be the same old lesson I already learned a million times.
Sometimes, the resistance is also a sign to give up and know that something else, somewhere else is about to open up.
Very general response, but you asked... :)
oh also... 1 of my teachers recently said :
"resistance isn't something to work through. it's something to work with."
"Sometimes, the resistance is also a sign to give up and know that something else, somewhere else is about to open up."
This is where I am. But also had to give up the idea that something else is opening up (even though it's apparent to me now that it is and the process has been ongoing). Much slogging in limbo and waiting it out with no attachment to outcome.
This last experience seemed like a coda:
a reminder that I didn't want to go there again.
Also: I think it helped that the experience had nothing to do with theater.
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